Burgeruminations « blogging for burgers

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There's more to life than burgers… sorta.

I’ve been fielding some complaints about the fact that I have expanded my purview to include food items beyond hamburgers.  There are a few reasons for this disgression on my part:

1) Hamburgers are a great, but not so great during the summer months, when the burgerboy has to hang out in swimming trunks on occasion.  No one wants to see my hamburger buns spilling over the top of my speedo.

2) My food passion has shifted slightly from hamburgers to local sustainable food over the years.  I’ve been hitting the farmers market like a fiend for about 2 years now, and I’ve been englightened to the ways of the local farm.

3) My time at the French Culinary Institute taught me a lot of things about the restaurant and food business, sowhy limit myself to burgers?

4) My paranoia tells me that my cholesterol is through the roof.

5) Pizza and hot dogs are also really good.  And mac and cheese.  And heirloom tomatoes.  And ramps.  And garlic scapes.  And shishito peppers.  And the list goes on…

But, do not give up hope.  I’ve still got burgers on my mind.

It's this simple.

What does a good hamburger mean?  Ingredients alone do not a good hamburger make.  There is a certain artistry required.  What it is, exactly, I don’t know.  I read recently that when a hamburger is good, “you just know.”

It’s true.  You do just know.

If I think back to some my most memorable burger experiences, a few stand out, and only a couple are actually a product of the hamburger itself.

Going to Burger King with my dad in London at Piccadilly Circus in the summer of 1999 stands out, not because I love Burger King (I actually kind of dislike it), but because my dad, who is allergic to beef, suggested it.  His rationale– it being the “king” had to make it British.

A thin, measly patty of grey ground beef at the 2004 US Open at Shinnecock Hills.  I don’t know why, but those frozen patties grilled to oblivion with a slice of american cheese and a layer of ketchup get me in the right place.

My first time to the Corner Bistro with the Grizza– my introduction to something quintessentially New York.  A sign that I would be a “regular.”  This became my city, in some respects.  I was welcomed.  Maybe that’s an exaggeration.  But I found myself in the midst of a place with a cult following.  I felt like I was a part of something larger– the New York “burgerrati.”  Hell, I’m part of a crew trying to take over the nation based solely on ground beef and bread.

In-n-out with my parents, years unknown.  We’d wait in the car for what seemed like forever.  I don’t even remember the burger.  I just remember it happening.

I used to get my grandmother cheeseburgers and coffee from McDonald’s pretty much every day, since it was one of the few things she would eat as her overall mental and physical health declined.  She and I couldn’t really communicate, since she spoke little english and I spoke no spanish.  After I would help her get to the kitchen table, we used to eat burgers at the kitchen table.  I used to be nervous because I didn’t really know what to say to her.  But I think she appreciated it.  I hope she did, at least.  I wish that I spoke spanish.  I bet she wished she spoke english.

The first bloggingforburgers experience– at JG Melon’s, fittingly, was a mini-culmination.  Four guys, from different places, with different life plans, came together around a piece of ground beef and two pieces of bread.

That’s what makes a good burger.

And what makes a bad burger?  Easy– bad ingredients and bad flavor.  And no story.

Relating a Burger and Olympia's Bosom

a correspondent from afar has written the following thoughts on a burger:

We’ve got some burgers over here. Classic and kimchi. There are a lot of bad burgers out there, in this new era of culinary sophistication and snobbery, there are a lot eaters and eateries trying to perfect the burger, or just sell their uncompromising classic. Ultimately the best places, use good meat, good fat content, and have a competent cook, ( really the only competence required when we are talking about good meat is taking it off the heat anywhere before medium, or light pink). Then there are the side dishes or the toppings, these things, like beautiful women or good wine (which are always delicious no matter where they come from), vary depending on the person, the time of day, the season, the mood, the feeling, or the country. Generally when the toppings are of good quality, no matter what they are (within reason), when paired with quality meat, the outcome is good. Finally, since a good burger, is a sandwich, and the defining characteristic of a sandwich is the bread, having a superb patty and toppings with a crumbly, dry, soggy, overly large, overly small, bun is like having a pizza with great sauce and cheese, that neglects the crust.

Notwithstanding, a burger that is successful on all fronts, can leave you unsatisfied if it doesn’t feel right in your hands. I think hand feel is the most underrated aspect of a good burger, or i if you will “eatability.” A burger is meant to be eaten, and if it is difficult to grab the whole package firmly or tenderly, upside down or right side up, left handed or right handed, then the whole culinary experience can be thrown off. A cheesy onion or a bit of juicy meat which has fallen to the plate may taste delicious on its own and a bite of fresh bread when enjoyed as a palate quencher before diving in for more wholesome eating can satisfy the most discerning eaters. The taste of each ingredient matters, but if you can’t taste the whole work in its entirety, together and in harmony, then it’s difficult to enjoy, it would be like looking at the knee cap of Manet’s Olympia through a telescope, then her hair, then her bosom, without the ability to relish the sumptuous whole.

– Seoul Brother, 5/25